And I was glad not to be sitting on the other side of the table. But I had to admit I enjoyed sitting between these two worlds. We don’t do like that.”Īlways a lesson – I rolled my eyes. “No shame.” She stopped laughing enough to talk to me. “Mom!” I accused her to me they were being fairly obvious in their disdain. I could tell they were being a little nasty. The Thai women were excitedly talking amongst themselves and then erupting into laughter. Her eyes looked across the coffee table at the Caucasian women giggling and flailing their arms about as seen on drunken people everywhere around the globe. I leaned over onto my mom, “What are you guys talking about?” I understand body language and I sensed what the Thai women were talking about were the tipsy white women. I can’t speak Thai but as a child who grew up listening to this language I understand undertones. I sat down on the couch with the other Thai women who were busy chatting away. When my mom and I arrived some of the guests had already been drinking. The guests were a mix of Caucasians (her husband’s friends) and Thais (Thoy’s friends). I had to refer to them as such and that was how they were referenced Uncle Ron, Auntie Pat, etc.)Īunt Kay’s husband hosted a surprise birthday party. (In Thai culture every friend of my mom’s was considered an Auntie or an Uncle. I remember one particular time when I was in Hawaii, I was at one of my auntie’s birthday party. This quality, this martyr-ism, this flair for the quiet dramatics or what others like call ‘passive aggressive’ is just our way of dealing with it. But we don’t make a fuss – when was the last time you heard an Asian complain about these types of things? Besides me. Ah, there’s nothing like sprinting out of a idling car to change places with the other passengers for no apparent reason. I hate how all “backwards” things are considered Chinese, like a Chinese jump rope is essentially a large elastic loop, or my favorite: the old Chinese fire drill. But it is erroneous to think that we do not command the personality to be out there shaking hands like a good politician or acting in movies or modeling on the cover of major magazines. Although every once in awhile Hawaii elects an Asian who represents the majority population of the Islands. We are the silent minority – under represented in the media from television, radio, and print media to the big screen, and of course we are nowhere to be found in government. We shiver, we complain, we stomp our feet and either head indoors or put on a heavy jacket. This is not to say that we don’t mind or care, it’s just we move through it and shrug it off like a chill in the air. Therefore, racism becomes one of life’s trials. It’s as if hardship brings the best out in us. I think part of the reason Asians aren’t known for being picked on has to do with the fact that we don’t make a big fuss about it. You just let a social faux pas rip – it happens occasionally and I’ll just ignore it because laughing or admonishing you would be considered inappropriate and ineffective. On the inside I just scrunched up my face like you farted. So just know that when you tell me you love Thai food – on the outside I put on my pleasant face – blank, mildly surprised and sweet. I love sushi but I don’t tell my Japanese friends that I do or that I find the spicy tuna roll delish. My favorite dish is spaghetti.” Or meeting a black person “I love rap music.” Or a Jewish person “I cried during Schindler’s List.” If someone could please tell me a creative and clever way to respond to this, because I would love to know. Would that be like meeting an Italian and saying, “I love pasta. And I’d rather you not tell me you like Thai food when I tell you I’m part Thai.įor some fascinating reason people who find out that I’m part Thai respond by saying, “Oh, I love Thai food.” I never quite know how to respond. I’d rather you tiptoe than boldly saunter. There is little awareness of the words flying out of their mouths. It’s almost as if they just know, a kind of assumption – an arrogance that makes no sense. Well, I can assure you that white folks don’t make that kind of effort around us. I imagine some white people tiptoe around black folks in an effort not to offend or say anything that might be construed as racist. We’re not brown enough so no one is the wiser. The thing about being Asian in North America is no one thinks you’re subjected to any kind of racism.
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